I just came across another compelling website, HowToBeADad.com. Like so many other fatherhood websites this isn’t a site that defines dads or dads to be. It’s a fun play on the musings of two different fathers and their livelyhoods and has some great articles to entertain and somewhat enlighten us.
But is this it for us daddies? In my research this is pretty typical of what I find, sites dedicated to being daddy for our entertainment only. Below is how they introduce their site:
“If you were looking for a website telling you how to be a dad… You didn’t find it. We aren’t experts in “dadology.” We aren’t even sure such a thing exists. We’re just here to tell you that being a parent sometimes means experiencing things without an authority, letting love and humor get you through. For those other times, we recommend a sturdy helmet.” – Charlie & Andy, The Dads
We are not looking for the answer or the authority on daddying, but for many of us we are looking for some advice that doesn’t hint just towards the funny. I know, I know, you might be saying, “why so blue?” I’m not down or out, just searching for information and trying to provide an alternative to what isn’t out there.
What I learned today about being a father:
HowToBeADad.com is funny and whimsical and has many great blurbs that I will gravitate back to. I like to joke around, and Jackie tends to my jokes with some laughter when necessary, but mostly hates my sarcasm and tells me to save my jokes for her father (because we get along really well and understand each others jokes, it’s a guy thing). But as for understanding how to be a dad, I fell we, dads, are all in this together and it has been proven time and time again, through avid internet research, the lack of daddy articles in any parenting/baby magazines, that we, dads, are like fish out of water when it comes to parenting.
What I think I know:
Women have a sixth sense when it comes to being mama that seems to be in direct correlation with the zero sense men have being daddy. Give a women a baby and she may look at him/her funny for a second, but then it all just works out. Motherhood is embedded in the back of their subconsciousness. Men, on the other hand, takes weeks, months, years and maybe a lifetime to figure out what being daddy is all about. There isn’t enough information out their for us, so we have to work together to at being daddy. I know we need some relief from our everyday contributions in the realms of parenthood, and I’m glad that I can find them with websites like howtobeadad.com. But I also know that we need to take ourselves and the lives of our children seriously.
I believe that being daddy represents an opportunity for all fathers to help mold a good life for our children and give them the tools and opportunities to be successful human beings, and that learning to be daddy has been a fun and challenging experience for me. We need to enjoy the experience, but referring to the experiences and challenges we face in a manner that doesn’t take parenthood seriously may not be the best approach to fatherhood that we can take.
Tip of the Week:
Being daddy is great, but know the difference between taking care of your child and watching your child grow up. My wife, bless her heart, got into the habit of asking, “Can you watch our son for a minute?” I nipped that in the but when I caught on to the trap she was setting for herself and me, and told her to ask me to take care of our son so that I could feel like the little things I could do mattered.