Jackie takes the best pictures of babies. When our niece, Harper, was born she went out and bought one of those expensive Canon cameras with the adjustable lenses, interchangeable flashes, and all the other bells and whistles. It’s a beautiful piece of electronics that has made her good quality of picture-taking to great.
Being a grad student has slowed down her ability to take her picture-taking to the next level, but we’ve seen a revival of that passion of hers since Griffin was born. She takes the best pictures, creates these awesome slide shows and collages intertwining all the things from our courtship, our engagement, our wedding, and beyond. She keeps her masterpieces on her computer for the most part though, never really satisfied with the way the end product looks. Something about the generic photograph paper at all the big box stores, just another thing I don’t get.
What I learned today about being a father:
I miss my guy. Today especially for some reason. I am fortunate enough to have a bright picture on my desktop of him, though, and I keep a special one that mama took in my wallet. There is nothing significant about today, neither good or bad. Today feels like just a day, and maybe that’s why I was thinking about doing something other than my work, like taking the time to read some new blogs, maybe skip out on work and go see a movie (I love movies, and I’ve heard great things about The Avengers), but looking at my boy’s picture not only stopped me from being foolish, but has given me a reason to do better.
What I think I know:
We all come across these times in our lives, whether it’s a rough day at work or a bad argument with a loved one that makes us want to do something that isn’t typical, something maybe dangerous or completely out of character. I’ve never thought these things were bad, just some situations call for us to be unconventional and spontaneous and I think we all know when this is and when it’s not.
Today, when my mind was wandering, wishing I was doing something else and contemplating jumping ship from work, it was the picture of Griffin that stopped me. I realized that what I’m doing, I’m doing for him and my family, trying to create a good future for us so that he can have a life that he deserves. He stopped me in my tracks, made me re-think my priorities, and helped me be a good daddy and do the right thing.
So, if you happened to waiver, watch pictures of your children, because even now they’re talking back to you. The hard things that come with being daddy feel a lot easier and make a lot more sense when you know why you’re doing them.